A little something for my friends who are WWE fans.
We saw Bayley and Sasha Banks in a 30-minute ironman match. Now we've seen Sasha Banks and Charlotte Flair in Hell in a Cell. In a couple of weeks, it will be Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss in a tables match at TLC.
So why not a womens Royal Rumble?
Here's how I'd put it together.
The idea is that this match would open the show at the Royal Rumble PPV. It's open to Raw, Smackdown, and NXT talent, with the possibility of adding a few non-contracted women, or a debut or two. I was originally going to go with a smaller field than thirty, but I managed to come up with a reasonable list of 30 participants (including three "unlikely" surprises that I felt were in the realm of possibility, as well as a couple of other talents not currently under WWE contract, but who have worked for WWE recently).
The winner gets a shot at the title of her choice (Raw, Smackdown, or NXT) at Wrestlemania. One advantage of the brand split is that it means that champions don't need to be held out of the match. If the Raw Womens Champion wins the match, she can go to Wrestlemania and challenge for the Smackdown title, and so on.
I'm going to speculate a bit and assume the following:
- Asuka is still NXT Womens Champion at the time of the Royal Rumble. I don't see anyone taking Asuka's title until the Wrestlemania weekend Takeover at the earliest.
- Sasha Banks is still Raw Womens Champion at the time of the Royal Rumble. I could see this going back to Charlotte Flair, but my thinking is that they might want a break in the pattern of constant title switches between these two, so they may let Sasha hold onto the belt for a while.
- Alexa Bliss is the reigning Smackdown Womens Champion at the time of the Royal Rumble. Bliss has been a great rival for Becky Lynch, and there's really no reason not to have her win the title either at TLC or at some other upcoming show.
- I am assuming that Trish Stratus is not available to make a comeback for this event (for the same reason she didn't wrestle at Takeover Toronto). Otherwise, I will assume that most other non-contracted or retired talent could possibly be available, although I will be limiting "surprises" to a small number from those potentially available. I am including TNA talent as available, given the shaky financial state of TNA.
My participant list is probably going to miss out on some great talent from the indy circuit and from Japan. Sorry, I'm not able to keep up with every promotion out there.
So, are we ready? Let's get ready to Rumble!
"Ladies and gentlemen, the following is the Womens Royal Rumble Match! Two superstars will begin the match, and approximately every 90 seconds an additional superstar will enter the ring. In order to be eliminated, a superstar must be thrown over the top rope, and BOTH FEET must touch the floor! The last superstar remaining in the ring will be declared the winner of the Womens Royal Rumble Match, and will receive a championship opportunity of her choice at Wrestlemania! And now, let's bring out the superstar who drew number one!"
Entrant #1 is WWE Smackdown Womens Champion
Alexa Bliss.
"And now introducing the superstar who drew number two!"
Lights go out for the entrance of Entrant #2,
Naomi.
Alexa attacks Naomi from behind as she's finishing her entrance and the lights come on. The ref rings the bell and we are underway. Naomi regains the advantage with high-flying offense, and knocks Alexa down with the Rear View as the clock counts down.
Entry #3 is
Cameron.
Funkadactyls reunion? Nope. Cameron goes right after Naomi, but gets caught against the ropes with a massive spinning heel kick from Naomi to become the first participant thrown out.
Cameron is elimination #1.
Meanwhile Alexa Bliss is recovering as the clock counts down.
Entry #4 is
Carmella.
Carmella goes right after Naomi, who is soon doubleteamed by Carmella and Bliss. Carmella hits the bronco buster on Naomi and drags her out of the corner, signalling for Bliss to go up to the top rope. Bliss climbs the ropes and sets up to hit Twisted Bliss, when Carmella turns on her, hitting her with a dropkick that sends her down to the ring apron, where she just manages to catch herself and avoid elimination.
Entry #5 is
Billie Kay.
Bliss rolls back into the ring and Carmella puts the boots to her as Billie Kay squares off against Naomi.
Lights go out as Eric Young accompanies Entry #6
, Nikki Cross of Sanity to the ring. Refs order Young back to the locker room area as Nikki attacks everyone in the ring in rapid succession. A big boot from Billie Kay finally puts her down, but she clings to the ropes and rakes Kay's eyes to avoid elimination. As the countdown begins, she jumps on Naomi from behind and they tumble over the top rope to the floor.
Naomi is elimination #2.
Nikki Cross is elimination #3.
Entry #7 is
Bayley, to a massive pop. Bayley is attacked by Bliss and Kay, but fights them off. Jumping elbows for each of them. When they recover and attack Bayley again, Carmella jumps in to help Bayley, teasing the return of the "Baymella" team. It proves short-lived. Carmella turns on Bayley and tries to throw her out from behind. Bayley blocks the attempt and puts Carmella down with the Bayley-to-Belly. Bliss and Kay doubleteam Bayley as we count down.
Entry #8 is
Peyton Royce. Peyton Royce immediately teams up with Billie Kay to go after Bayley. Bayley fights back, but loses out to the numbers game. She holds on when they try to toss her, however, and they are in turn attacked by Bliss and Carmella. Royce and Kay regain the upper hand and a big boot from Kay sends Carmella over the top.
Carmella is elimination #4.
Entry #9 is
Alicia Fox. At this point the team of Royce and Kay are in pretty solid control. They are beating down Bayley and Bliss with tandem offense. Alicia comes in a proverbial house o' fire, but when she hits her northern lights suplex on Royce, she gets a stiff stomp in the head from Kay. She's hauled up, thrown against the ropes, and eliminated with a double big boot.
Alicia Fox is elimination #5
Entry #10 is
Mickie James. Alexa Bliss immediately gets in her face, and they go at it while Royce and Kay continue their assault on Bayley. Bayley ducks under a double clothesline from the Aussie team, and hits both of them with a double clothesline of her own. She walks into a superkick from Alexa Bliss, who hits her handspring double knees to the gut, but then springs back up right into a Mick Kick, that send out over and out.
Alexa Bliss is elimination #6.(Possibly setting up Mickie James vs. Alexa Bliss on a future Smackdown).
Bayley and Mickie James form a momentary alliance against Billie Kay and Peyton Royce.
Entry #11 is
Natalya, who goes after Mickie James, as Bayley is again left fighting Billie and Peyton.
Entry #12 is
Nikki Bella, who goes after Natalya. Billie Kay and Peyton Royce have beat down Bayley in the corner and then start doubleteaming Mickie James.
Entry (unlucky; for everyone else in the ring, that is) #13 is
Nia Jax. As Jim Ross would say, "Business is about to pick up". Everyone stops fighting as Nia stares down everyone in the ring. Nikki Bella charges and gets flattened with a clothesline. Natalya tries her luck and runs right into a Samoan drop. Kay and Royce send Nia into the ropes. She clotheslines both of them out.
Billie Kay is elimination #7.
Peyton Royce is elimination #8.
Nikki Bella squares off against Bayley while Mickey James takes on Nia Jax.
Entry #14 is
Emmalina, who is a bit hesitant to get into the ring. When Nia Jax has Mickie James against the ropes, Emmalina sneaks up and pulls Mickie over.
Mickie James is elimination #9.
Nia clotheslines Nikki Bella, and Emmalina is there to toss her over as well.
Nikki Bella is elimination #10.
Nia picks up Natalya and press-slams her out of the ring to land on Nikki Bella.
Natalya is elimination #11
Emmalina has a brief moment of cheering for Nia. She offers her hand to form an alliance. Clothesline. Samoan drop. Legdrop. Nia tosses Emmalina over the top,
Emmalina is elimination #12.
Entry #15 is
Aliyah.
Aliyah and Bayley attempt to doubleteam Nia. She holds them off at first, but finally a jumping elbow from Bayley combined with a chop block from Aliyah takes Nia off her feet. Aliyah runs the ropes and hits a Warrior splash. Acting on instinct/inexperience, she covers for the pin. Nia kicks out and throws her over the top rope in the process (a la Yokozuna and Randy Savage in Royal Rumble 1993).
Aliyah is elimination #13.
Bayley jumps on Nia from behind and locks on a sleeperhold. Nia stumbles and they fall through the ropes (neither eliminated).
Entry #16 is
Blue Pants, who finds herself in an empty ring as Nia puts Bayley through the Spanish announce table. Blue pants has a brief moment of soaking in the adulation of the crowd. Then she turns around to see Nia back in the ring. Clothesline. Samoan drop. Legdrop. Nia tosses her over the top.
Blue Pants is elimination #14.
Entry #17 is... "From Concord, California, comes the most exotic, most sensuous, most alluring superstar ever to set foot in a WWE ring, Eva Marie... Is not able to compete tonight due to a sudden case of the flu."
Nia goes out of the ring to continue the beating on Bayley.
Camera cuts to Mick Foley backstage. "I need a number 17 entry! And you're the only person I've got on the roster! Get out there right now!" Camera pans to... Rusev? No, apparently the #17 entry is going to be
Lana, who looks terrified, but receives a quick peptalk from her husband. "Lana. CRUSH!" Lana heads to the ring accompanied by Rusev who encourages her to get in there and fight, as Nia gets back into the ring to stare her down.
Lana yells "Lana crush!" and unleashes a series of forearms which have no effect on Nia. Clothesline. Samoan drop. Legdrop. Nia tosses Lana who is caught by Rusev. Her feet did not touch the floor. Rusev puts her back on the ring apron as she clearly does not want to get back into the ring. As she argues with Rusev on the apron, Nia hits her with a massive shoulder tackle, and this time when she lands on Rusev, they both tumble to the floor.
Lana is elimination #15.
Entry #18 is
Liv Morgan. Liv tries to use her speed to outmaneuver Nia. She ducks a couple of moves and hits some dropkicks, which barely move Nia. Clothesline. Samoan drop. Legdrop. Toss. At this point the announcers are speculating that Nia Jax may be unstoppable and wondering if there is anyone who could possibly throw her out of the ring.
Liv Morgan is elimination #16. More than half the competitors gone.
Entry #19 is
Kharma. All of a sudden, Nia Jax is faced with the prospect of picking on someone her own size, as the shocked announcers note that Kharma is the only competitor in the field who has actually participated in a Royal Rumble match. Massive staredown as Kharma approaches ringside, but instead of getting in to face Nia, she goes after Bayley, who is still out on the floor (and still in the match). Kharma hits her implant buster on Bayley on the floor, then gets into the ring to square off with Nia. Display of power from the two powerhouses with neither of them getting the advantage. They hit the ropes and collide hard, both going down.
Entry #20 is
Charlotte Flair. Natural Selection on Jax. Natural selection on Kharma. Big boot as Kharma gets up to her knees, but now Nia Jax is up. Flair tries for another big boot, but Nia ducks it and catches Flair in a Samoan drop. Kharma and Jax form an alliance and look on the verge of forcing Charlotte over the top rope when Bayley comes off the turnbuckle with a double axehandle to Jax, saving Charlotte. Jax and Kharma overpower Charlotte and Bayley and bodyslam them in the middle of the ring and hit a pair of massive legdrops in stereo.
Entry #21 is
Dana Brooke. Ever the loyal henchwoman for Charlotte, Brooke taunts Jax and Kharma to lure them away from Flair. They beat her down in the corner, but it allows enough time for Bayley and Charlotte to recover and throw Jax and Kharma over the top rope from behind.
Nia Jax is Elimination #17. She leaves having set the bar for number of eliminations in a Womens Royal Rumble Match with 8.
Kharma is elimination #18.
Dana Brooke goes right after Bayley, and manages to knock her off of the turnbuckle. Bayley lands hard on the ring apron, but when Dana tries to knock her off with a clothesline, Bayley ducks it, and catches Dana in the Bayley-to-Belly, suplexing her over the top rope and out.
Dana Brooke is elimination #19.
Bayley, who has taken a relentless beating for the entire time she's been in the match, staggers into the ring and collapses. Charlotte hits Natural Selection on her. Then just to be a jerk, she sits her up and hits it again. She stands over Bayley yelling "I'm the Queen!" as the announces speculate that with Kharma and Nia Jax out, Charlotte looks to be unstoppable. Charlotte thinks about trying to eliminate Bayley, who is basically dead weight when Charlotte goes to pick her up, but the countdown starts, and Charlotte turns to face the next entrant instead.
Entry #22 is NXT Womens Champion
Asuka. Charlotte with a shocked expression as the crowd fires up an "Asuka's gonna kill you!" chant. Massive staredown. Asuka gets right in Charlotte's face. Charlotte slaps her. Asuka smiles and hits rapid-fire strikes, putting Charlotte on her backside with a spinning backfist. Hip attack, followed by a series of kicks, but Charlotte manages to catch Asuka's leg and hit a dragonscrew. She goes to work on the leg of Asuka, setting her up for the Figure 8.
Entry #23 is
Tessa Blanchard, who sees easy prey in Bayley only to discover that Bayley still has some fight left in her. Tessa gets the upper hand, then turns to drop an elbow on Charlotte, who had the Figure 8 locked on Asuka. That breaks the hold, and the two daughters of the original Horsemen square off. Charlotte gets the better of that exchange. Meanwhile, Asuka ties up Bayley in the Asukalock.
Entry #24 is
Daria Berenato, who goes right after Asuka, forcing Asuka to break her hold on Bayley. They exchange a series of stiff strikes in the center of the ring while Charlotte manages to dump Tessa Blanchard over the top.
Tessa Blanchard is elimination #20.
Asuka beats down Berenato while Bayley and Charlotte begin to recover. Asuka then goes after Charlotte while Bayley battles Berenato.
Entry #25 is
Ember Moon. Asuka is beating on Charlotte in the corner as Ember Moon ascends the opposite turnbuckle. Asuka goes for the Irish whip, but Charlotte reverses it, sending Asuka across the ring and right into Ember Moon's twisting top-rope stunner. Charlotte immediately hits Natural Selection on Asuka and a stunned Asuka staggers to her feet and walks right into a Bayley-to-Belly. Ember moon picks up Asuka and runs her to the opposite ropes, throwing her out and eliminating her.
Asuka is elimination #21.
Charlotte and Bayley are both pretty exhausted at this point, but Berenato is not in much better shape and fails in attempts to get both opponents over the top rope.
Entry #26 is
Mandy Rose, who immediately allies herself with Berenato. The two NXT upstarts go to work on Bayley and Charlotte, who are forced into their own alliance of convenience.
Entry #27 is
Lita. "Holy shit!" chant from the crowd. Lita goes after everybody. Twist of Fate on Rose. Twist of Fate on Berenato. Double DDT on Charlotte and Bayley. Litasault on Rose. Lita easily dumps Rose. Berenato tries to eliminate Lita from behind. They both go over, but Lita hangs onto the top rope and pulls herself back in.
Mandy Rose is elimination #22.
Daria Berenato is elimination #23.
Entry #28 is
Becky Lynch. "Straight fire from the Irish Lass Kicker!" Bexploder on Lita. Another one on Bayley. Corner dropkick on Charlotte. Lita goes for the Twist of Fate on Lynch, and Lynch reverses it into the DisarmHer, only to get kicked in the face by Charlotte, who then walks into a flying back elbow from Bayley. Ember Moon goes up for her Twisting Stunner, but Lynch catches her in midair with a kick that leaves her hanging over the top rope. Another kick from Lynch sends her over.
Elimination #24 is
Ember Moon.
Entry #29 is
Gail Kim, who comes in with roundhouse kicks for everybody. Eat Defeat on Charlotte. springboard crossbody attempt on Bayley gets countered in midair into a Bayley-to-Belly. Gail and Bayley are down as Charlotte and Becky go at it.
Entry #30 is WWE Raw Womens Champion
Sasha Banks. Backstabber on Charlotte and into the Banks Statement. Lynch locks the DisarmHer on Bayley as Gail Kim and Lita square off. Dropkick from Lita. Spinning heel kick from Kim. They run the ropes and both try crossbodys, colliding midair. Sasha releases her hold on Charlotte and tosses Gail Kim out. Becky Lynch with the same move on Lita.
Gail Kim is elimination #25.
Lita is elimination #26.
Your final four are the original Four Horsewomen of NXT:
Bayley,
Charlotte Flair,
Becky Lynch, and
Sasha Banks.
Becky takes on Bayley as Sasha and Charlotte renew their rivalry. Sasha ducks a big boot that leaves Charlotte hung up on the ropes, allowing Sasha to sieze the opportunity to toss her over.
Charlotte Flair is elimination #27.
Becky Lynch has Bayley near the ropes and sets her up for the Bexploder to send her over the top. She loses her balance as she hits the move and they tumble into the ropes, and Bayley is able to scissor Lynch's head and turn it into a modified hurricanrana to send Becky over.
Becky Lynch is elimination #28.
Down to the final two. An exhausted Bayley is left to fight against a much fresher Sasha Banks. Sasha gets Bayley into the corner. She sets her up for the double knees, but Bayley escapes. Bayley tries to muscle Sasha over. They climb the ropes and Bayley sets up the Bayley-to-Belly to send Sasha out of the ring (in what would have been a horrific bump), but Sasha fights out of it. Sasha tries to send Bayley back into the ring with a hurricanrana, but Bayley catches her and swings her over the top rope, and Sasha tumbles to the floor.
Sasha Banks is elimination #29.
"The winner of the Womens Royal Rumble Match... It's
Bayley!"
Bayley will go on to challenge Sasha Banks for the WWE Raw Womens Championship at Wrestlemania.
Order of Entry
1. Alexa Bliss
2. Naomi
3. Cameron
4. Carmella
5. Billie Kay
6. Nikki Cross
7. Bayley
8. Peyton Royce
9. Alicia Fox
10. Mickey James
11. Natalya
12. Nikki Bella
13. Emmalina
14. Nia Jax
15. Aliyah
16. Blue Pants
17. (Eva Marie) Lana
18. Liv Morgan
19. Kharma
20. Charlotte Flair
21. Dana Brooke
22. Asuka
23. Tessa Blanchard
24. Daria Berenato
25. Ember Moon
26. Mandy Rose
27. Lita
28. Becky Lynch
29. Gail Kim
30. Sasha Banks
Order of Elimination
1. Cameron by Naomi
2. & 3. Naomi and Nikki Cross (by each other)
4. Carmella by Billie Kay
5. Alicia Fox by Billie Kay and Peyton Royce
6. Alexa Bliss by Mickie James
7. Billie Kay by Nia Jax
8. Peyton Royce by Nia Jax
9. Mickie James by Emmalina
10. Nikki Bella by Emmalina
11. Natalya by Nia Jax
12. Emmalina by Nia Jax
13. Aliyah by Nia Jax
14. Blue Pants by Nia Jax
15. Lana by Nia Jax
16. Liv Morgan by Nia Jax
17. Nia Jax by Bayley
18. Kharma by Charlotte Flair
19. Dana Brooke by Bayley
20. Tessa Blanchard by Charlotte Flair
21. Asuka by Ember Moon
22. Mandy Rose by Lita
23. Daria Berenato by Lita
24. Ember Moon by Becky Lynch
25. Gail Kim by Sasha Banks
26. Lita by Becky Lynch
27 Charlotte Flair by Sasha Banks
28. Becky Lynch by Bayley
29. Sasha Banks by Bayley
Stats
Longest time in Rumble: Bayley (36:30)
Most eliminations: Nia Jax (8)
Shortest time in Rumble: Blue Pants (0:24)
.
